I’d be lying if I tell you I didn’t wish ill on anyone who hurt me. I’d be lying if I say, “Oh, I’ll just let the heavens do its thing, you know?” and move forward with my life. The truth is it will all be just pure sweet lies.
You see, there will be days or instances per se in your life that you will find everything happening extra unfair. You will see it in a way where it hurts more and you ask yourself, “why does it hurts more for me than him or her?” or “Why am I miserable and he is not? Why am I suffering and he was happy?” A lot of times you see, this will happen. Believe me when I say it’s gonna be a recurring event, only lead by different characters now. The only thing that doesn’t change? You end up suffering first.
Because that is just the way it is. In some arguments, break up stories or whatever that equates to people leaving each other and separating, there will always be someone who gets the pain more and suffers from it first. The other might recover faster by all means. But here’s the truth: karma will always find its way.
One day, you’re gonna wake up and will just decide to stop crying. You will get up from bed and start doing things that makes you really happy when the person wasn’t around yet. One day, you will have your thoughts aligned and the direction heads to something fruitful and worthy. One day you’re gonna feel how it feels to be excellent again and the feeling will be familiar. One day, you will pick up your things and place them on where it’s supposed to. One day, you will be ready to tell your story to everyone with the courage that was long lost. And then it wasn’t so painful anymore.
You see, if only I could plot the karma for the people who have destroyed me, I would and make it happen myself. I don’t care with how you say it’s not good to plant ill on others. They planted ill on me first and it grows.
But I can’t. I don’t have the capacity to do so and I chose not to. I chose to stay away and hide. Cry for years and be traumatized. I chose to face the loneliness on my own until I forgot wishing ill on them. Until I forgot wishing they face as much hell as they put me through. I have become so busy with getting over the pain that I forgot I never got my justice yet. And if this was a movie? The bad guys won.
But then again, one day, when you’re all fine and safe in your own pace and space, karma will find them. Not in a way you want or have imagined happening so, not exactly the same as what they did, not in a way you even expected. But one day it’s gonna be their turn. And you? You keep on doing you. You do not necessarily have to win or loose in this whole drastic pain extravaganza. Because even winning on this could be subjective too. The important thing is you have recovered and you got yourself together. After all the broken pieces, it’s possible.
So if you are wondering why are you in very dark place right now and that it just hurts? This too shall pass. You will move forward inch by inch from that whole dark place.
And who knows? Maybe their show is about to start. If you know what I mean.